Tips for Joyfest

Doing an Act of Joy is (unfortunately) not normal behaviour. So when you do one, whether to a stranger or someone you know, a good opening line can help reduce any confusion and awkwardness.

You might want to try something like this, “Hi, I know this is a bit weird, but can I pay for your coffee?”

But you acknowledging what you are doing is weird, you are signalling that you are not a weirdo! It shows you understand normal social conventions, but you’re breaking them!

Another top tip - have your opening line ready but don’t try to rehearse or anticipate the rest of the interaction. Over-thinking what you’re going to do usually just makes it more stressful and anyway, you can never anticipate how the whole interaction will go. 

Also, try to have faith in Jesus’ promise from Luke 12:12 - “The Holy Spirit will give you the words to say at the moment when you need them.”

Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a free lunch. So when you offer to do something for someone totally for free, it’s not surprising they may be suspicious.

It’s helpful to understand that even if you’re doing or giving something away for free there is still a transaction happening. For the recipient, if they don’t know their part in the transaction their fear is, once they accept the gift or service they will ‘owe’ you and you’ll demand something of them.

This makes it likely they’ll refuse, just to be on the safe side.

To get around this it is really helpful to outline what is happening - explain the transaction and then they understand the part they play.

One way is to explain what Joyfest is. Not only does it tell them about Joyfest and the church, it also outlines their part in the transaction.

So you could, combining it with a good opening line, say something like this:

“Hi, I’m your neighbour and I know this is a bit unusual, but I wondered if I could mow your lawn for you? I’m taking part in an event put on by the churches in Exeter. We’re spending the week doing random acts of kindness to try to make the city a happier place. So I thought perhaps mowing your lawn might bring you a little happiness.”

In that statement you’ve not only demonstrated that you know this isn’t normal behaviour, but you’ve outlined the transaction.

You are trying to spread happiness for an event - that is your part in the transaction.

They are helping you do this by allowing you to perform the Act of Joy… and perhaps feeling a bit happier - this is their part in the transaction.

Another way that can help explain the transaction is to describe Joyfest as a social experiment. This again explains their part in the transaction - as the subject who is helping you do your experiment. 

Of course, sometimes people will refuse regardless. Try not to take any of these rejections personally - and you’ll find it’s much rarer than you might think. Lots of people are really open to kindness and the church.

Finally, because people will be suspicious, some things are harder to give than others. Giving homemade food or something from an open packet to strangers can be harder. 

This isn’t true for friends, colleagues or neighbours as they know you - this is where homemade stuff actually displays extra kindness!

Doing an Act of Joy isn’t easy. It takes emotional energy and there can be risk attached. So doing it with someone else really helps share the burden.

You might want to team up with friends, colleagues, family members or people from your church. 

If you get more people involved it’s also possible to be more ambitious. You might clean a car for your neighbour, but your homegroup could work together to clean 20 cars. 

It’s also a fantastic opportunity to work with people from other churches. Perhaps you have neighbours or colleagues who go to a different church. What a wonderful expression of unity to organise doing something together.

Being spontaneous sounds cool and, during the week, definitely keep your eyes open for opportunities to do an Act of Joy out of the blue.

However, if that’s all you think you’ll do, it’s really possible to go all week without doing anything.

Firstly there is the preparation: you can’t give someone chocolates if you haven’t bought them.

Secondly you need to think about the effort involved. Acts of Joy require stepping out of your ordinary life and this takes emotional energy. This is when having a declared intention - perhaps to do something at work, something for a neighbour and something for a stranger - is really helpful to make sure you actually do it. Telling someone so you’re somewhat held to account also really helps.

Let’s not get through the week with good intentions but failing to turn these into action. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people.” Galatians 6:9-10

If you want to organise things to spread joy - parties, afterwork drinks, a lunchtime fun quiz, and so on - you also need to let other people know in good time. There are printable flyers and posters available here.